Unimaginable Fun
by StanaTorv
Summary: 4th in the series. the girls were having fun. daniel and a friend have to clean up the mess
1. Bring back the Biff

**Unimaginable Fun (Subtext Included)**

By Samvalasam

Synopsis: Fourth in the series. The girls were having fun. Daniel is called back to deal with the consequences.

Disclaimer: If it was mine would I be writing fics?

_A/N- I was inspired the other night with this idea when it actually rained here for almost 2 solid days. I'm thinking this may be multi-chapter. I can't shake the muse._

_Thanks to Becca- the Queen of betaing. The chapter title is homage to Reg Reagan._

**Chapter 1: Bring back the Biff**

Vala decided at that very moment she loved the rain. The sensation of water droplets washed away any of the sad feelings she had had previously as she lifted her face towards the sky.

Sam and Vala had just finished at the cinemas when the downpour started. Sam, not wanting to get wet, quickly found some shelter to escape the bucketing rain.

"Vala! Get out of the rain. You're gonna catch a cold," Sam yelled at her from a bus shelter a few metres down the street from where Vala was standing.

"I don't care, Sam. I'm staying here. You'll have to come get me if you want me under there," Vala spat back, eyes glaring at her friend.

Sam sighed and walked over to Vala and put her hand on her arm. "Come on, I'll take you home," she said quietly.

Vala continued to stay where she was. "Home. That's a funny word really. I read it in Daniel's book. Dick something."

"Dictionary?"

"Yeah, that's it. It tells you the meanings of all the words. And, did you know that it has a lot of meanings all pertaining to a similar theme? After reading all that, I was no closer to finding out where 'home' actually was."

"And have you ever heard the saying _'Home is where the heart is'_?" Vala nodded her head. "Home, Vala, is where your family is. Like it or not, we're your family. Me, Cam, Teal'c," she paused, "And Daniel."

Vala smiled. At that point in time, both women were completely drenched from the rain, but they didn't care. This conversation would change their friendship. "I've never had a real family, Sam. General Landry is the closest thing to a father I've had in years. Cam and Teal'c are like brothers and you're like my sister."

"What about Daniel? Does he count?" Sam queried, still unsure of the relationship between the two.

Vala grinned and sought the right words. "Daniel is what you would call, um…a friend with benefits."

Sam doubled over with laughter. "That's not something I would normally describe Daniel as."

"He does love me, Sam, as I do him."

"I'm happy for you both," she paused, "So when are we going to see little Vala's running around?" Sam smiled, unaware of Vala's misfortune.

Vala's eyes sunk and she lowered her head, unable to look at Sam.

"Are you okay? Did I say something?" Sam put her hand on Vala's shoulder.

Suddenly, Vala swung her fist at Sam and landed the punch square on her mouth. Sam stumbled backwards and stunned onlookers watched as Sam, without thinking, returned the punch just as quickly as she received it.

The fight continued for a few minutes before a police detective came flying out of an unmarked car and began to pull the two women apart He grabbed onto Vala and got smacked in the mouth for his troubles. With a muffled curse, he turned to face her once more and pulled out his handcuffs.

"Ok Rocky, you're coming with me." He held Vala's hands behind her back and cuffed them together.

The policeman spun Vala around to look at her. "What's your name?"

"Vala Mal Doran," she spat at the officer.

The policeman then turned to Sam who had sat herself down in the gutter, head in hands. She lifted her face to see who was arresting them.

"Pete?"

"Sam?"

Equally as shocked, Sam and Pete remained silent as he placed the handcuffs on Sam's hands.

Pete Shanahan ushered the two into the back of the Police Car and drove them to the nearest station.

* * *

Half an hour later, Sam and Vala were hauled into a small holding cell where a brutish looking man who seemed worse off than they did watched menacingly.

"Who do you want me to call, Ms. Carter?" Pete asked formally.

Sam rolled her eyes at him, "Do you have paper and a pen? I'll write down the number." Pete made a small 'tsk' sound as he passed Sam what she needed. _Don't 'tsk' me or I'll make Vala's punch look like a bee sting. _

Vala sat there in the cell quietly with her head in her hands in shame.

"Ms. Mal Doran, is there anyone I can call for you?" Vala looked up at Pete.

"Who ever you're calling for her is fine; just tell them I want Daniel. They'll know what you mean," she replied quietly.

Sam passed the paper and pen back to Pete through the bars.

"The Sergeant will be here in a few moments to question you two." Pete warned as he handed Sam and Vala a blanket each before leaving.

Vala couldn't even look at Sam as she got up off the seat and moved to the furthest corner of the small cell. Tucking her knees up to her chest she sobbed quietly to herself. The man in the cell with them glanced upon her softly. "Are you okay, missy?" Vala was shocked at the question coming from the heavily tattooed and gruff appearing man.

"I'm fine," she replied wrapping the blanket tighter around her. She extended her hand to him. "I'm Vala by the way."

"Angus, but my friends call me Bulldozer," he replied shaking her petite hand with his.

An uncomfortable silence filled the room as Sam stared across at her friend. "I'm sorry if I hurt you, Vala," she apologised.

Vala lifted her head and shook it. "No, I threw the first punch, I should be saying sorry to you. I don't know what came over me."

"You must have been upset about something."

Vala sighed. "I probably should have told you sooner. Nearly everyone else knows."

"Knows what?"

"I can't have anymore children. Carolyn is working on a solution but it doesn't look promising."

"Oh My God! I'm so sorry, Vala. If I had known I never would have said anything. Is there something I can do to help?"

"That's ok, Sam. I should have told you sooner."

Sam smiled softly at her friend, "Do you think Adria had something to do with it?"

"Maybe. We don't really know."

Just then, they heard the man in their cell start to cry. He got up and moved over to Vala and hugged her tight. "Be strong, Little Miss

Vala let out a small giggle. "Thank you."

Sam looked at Vala, "It's gonna be okay, Jack and Daniel will come and they'll sort everything out."

"I hope so."

TBC

* * *

plz review...i love to hear what u think 


	2. Beam me outta here, Scotty

_A/N- I thought Id keep this on the lighthearted track…seeing as though my previous fics have been a little sad, really, I am funny. :D thanks to all who reviewed and stuff last chap. Glad u all liked it. So here's the next instalment…there's some more Pete whumping for those of you who hate him too._

**Chapter 2- Beam me outa here, Scotty**

Sam was right, two hours after the sergeant had taken their statements and was deciding wether or not to press charges against Vala for striking a police officer, a dishevelled and anxious looking Daniel walked in the door followed by a rather composed Jack O'Neill.

Jack walked up to the reception desk and rapped his knuckles on the counter. Pete looked up from his desk.

"General O'Neill, nice to see you again." Pete said extending his hand towards Jack.

"Cut the crap, Shanahan. Where are they?" Jack responded curtly.

"Out the back, follow me."

Jack and Daniel followed Pete to where the two women were being held. Vala noticed them first.

"Daniel!" she leapt up from the seat next to her tattooed friend and bounded to the front of the cell. "I missed you." She said as she grabbed his face and kissed him through the bars.

"I missed you too."

Pete looked from Daniel to Jack and then to Sam and Vala. "I'll be out the front if you need me."

Jack nodded to Pete. Vala looked confused. "You know him Sam?"

Sam looked sheepishly down at her feet. "Ex-fiancé," she mumbled.

"Oh," Vala turned her attention back to Jack and Daniel; mainly Daniel. "So you guys gonna beam us outa here, hey Scotty?"

"Not quite. We still have the little fact of bail, and, they may be laying charges on you for hitting Pete." Daniel explained.

"He probably deserved it," Jack said, rolling his eyes, getting a soft giggle from Sam. Jack looked to Sam and just shook his head and smiled; understanding, that's what they had called it.

"I didn't mean to hit anyone, it just happened; I snapped."

"I'll hit the guy if you want me to, Little Miss," added the Bulldozer who stood up next to Vala, towering a foot above her. His arms the width of legs, tattooed from the neck down. Vala grinned at Daniel who looked completely shocked at his girlfriend's new-found protector.

Jack looked over at him. "What's ya name?"

"Bulldozer," replied Sam and Vala together

"Gee, I wonder why?"

The man only smiled and crossed his arms over his chest and sat back down on the small bench.

Jack looked at both of the women who were standing shoulder to shoulder in the cell.

"I'll go sort out Pete, and Daniel, you can keep 'em company while I'm gone."

Daniel nodded at Jack before turning back towards his friends. He put his arm through the bars and brushed his thumb over Vala's bruised cheek and slight gash on top of her nose. She winced slightly in pain. Sam looked just as bad as Vala did. Her eye beginning to show signs of slight blackening and lip swollen and split.

"What were you guys thinking? Fighting in the middle of the street?" he asked looking slightly confused as to why best friends would suddenly turn on each other.

"It was my fault, Daniel. I threw the first punch," Vala confessed.

"Don't worry about it, you had your reasons," Sam encouraged.

"I still don't get it, Sam. Why did this happen in the first place?" Daniel was getting frustrated and they all knew it.

Without warning, Bulldozer leapt up from where he was sitting and grabbed a hold of Daniel's shirt through the bars.

"If the little miss doesn't want to talk about it,** let it go!" **

Vala yanked on Bulldozer's arm, "It's ok, let him go."

"I don't trust him," he narrowed his eyes to look squarely at Daniel as she continued to keep a hold of him.

"Well, I do, seeing as he's my boyfriend and all that. Now, please let him go, and I promise to invite you to the wedding."

Bulldozer turned his head to look at Vala as she nodded at him. Slowly he let go of Daniel.

Daniel straightened his shirt, and then suddenly as if he'd just figured out what she said, his head jerked up and he gazed into her eyes, "Wedding?"

"Yes, Daniel. Wedding," Vala replied with a determined smirk playing on her lips.

He leaned in and kissed her lightly, "Oh good, just seeing if we're on the same page."

XXXXXX

Jack peered over the counter to look down at Pete.

"Can I help you with something, General?" Pete asked with irritation in his voice.

"Yeah you can actually, a few things to be precise," he replied with a familiar snark about him that Pete knew only too well. "How 'bout I start with asking you why the hell you had to arrest one of the most highly decorated Colonels in the Air Force? Not to mention the fact that by doing so you could have ruined the most heavily guarded secret since cover-up of the so-called moon landing."

"Have you finished ranting?"

"No, not quite," Jack continued. "And what's the deal with you laying charges on Vala? She's like half your size, how would it be to go to court and tell the judge that a slight little woman broke your nose? Oooh, big tough Pete got beat up by a girl." Jack loved every minute of the taunting process. Pete deserved all the crap he was handed; not to mention the beating he received from Vala. It was a perfectly placed punch; directly between the eyes on the bridge of his nose. That would hurt for a long while yet.

Pete stood up to face to face with Jack. "Listen, I don't know what your deal is and I don't really care. I'm just doing my job," he said defending himself.

"You suck at your job, Shanahan. Now, let me pay this bail, let the two girls go and I promise you, that you will never see our faces here again. Personally, I think Sam never wanted to see you anyway. Vala doesn't really know you, but I'm pretty sure she would hit you again." Jack grinned at Pete who squirmed where he stood.

"Fine, the bail is $1000 each, they'll be free to go after you pay up. A minor misdemeanour will be written into their official records," Pete explained.

"I think that'll be ok, they just want to get home." Jack handed over his credit card.

XXXXXX

When Jack returned, they were all surprised to see Pete with him holding keys getting ready to unlock the cell door.

"Ms Mal Doran, Ms Carter. You are both free to go." Pete told them as he opened the door for them to be let out.

As they walked out, Vala turned back and flashed Bulldozer one of her biggest smiles. "Thank you, Bulldozer. I'll come and visit you in jail."

"You're welcome, Little Miss. And you, nerdy man," his finger was pointed directly at Daniel. "Make sure you look after her or there will be no jail that will stop me from hurting you," Bulldozer continued with his threat as Daniel continued to stand with his arm around Vala's waist.

"I will."

Daniel looked at Vala and whispered, "What did he do?"

"Armed hold-up, robbery and arson," she whispered back nonchalantly.

"Great guy," he replied with a roll of his eyes.

"Much like someone else I know," she said as she kissed his cheek.

Daniel smiled as she walked out of his grasp and tackle hugged Sam whilst never taking a look back at the police station as they made their way to Jack's truck.

The End

_A/N- Thanks to Becca I dunno what I'd do without you._

_I'm leaving this here cos there will be a whole new story coming your way soon…. I just have to write it. Please read and review, they make my day._


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